Last night was my first night back at bible study since Colston’s Fontan surgery and boy, was the Holy Spirit doing it’s THANG last night.
Women I was just meeting for the first time were weeping and praising the Lord for my little boy and his thriving healing.
It was such an eye opening moment for me and made me SO thankful for those dark times I went through two years ago when I was angry with the Lord. If it weren’t for pushing Him away, I wouldn’t have these beautiful relationships I do now and I wouldn’t have these beautiful souls praying for my son and my family.
After telling these women how well Colston is doing one lady said, “You’re so strong and you make it just look so easy. I know it’s not, but that’s how you make it look.” (paraphrase)
But I think….no… I KNOW that is just a testament to how good our Savior is.
If I make this journey look easy, it’s because of Him.
It’s not easy. Obviously. Watching your child in any kind of pain is a parent’s worst nightmare, next to the death of your child that is, but every trial on Earth leads to our eternal life.
Life is hard. Life as a Christian is hard.
Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean the temptations go away. Or that life is all of a sudden peas and carrots. The enemy will try to tear you down even more than the unsaved because he needs to work harder to break your relationship with the Lord.
He almost got me. I turned my back for a short time, but I saw how lonely it was. I couldn’t do this alone. I knew I needed Him.
Philippians 4:13 could not be more true.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
I am strong. I grow stronger everyday and it’s because of Him.
I can live through the pain of holding my son down for IV’s because of Him.
I can sit in a waiting room knowing a machine is breathing for my son just down the hallway with his chest cut wide open because of Him.
I can help other heart mom’s through the same horrible thoughts because of Him.
I want people to look at me and see how strong I am, not for my own pride or ego, but to glorify Him.
I want to taste like Jesus.
I want new found heart moms to look at me and think, “Yeah. I can do this too.”
“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist in truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” –Ephesians 6:13-17
There’s a reason the apostle Paul didn’t describe a piece of armor for your back when he explained the armor of God.
You don’t need armor back there.
God is behind you. He has your back. Always.
Breath Him in until you taste like Him.
When life stabs you, let the only thing that seeps out of you be Jesus.
You can do anything, get through anything this life throws at you because He is behind you.
You need only be still.