The road that a heart mom has to travel on has numerous twists and turns, is full of loops, and is covered in massive mountains we have to climb constantly.
It seems like we can never get ahead of our emotions and what makes it even harder is that no two of our heart babies have the exact same story. So we are often, no scratch that, we are CONSTANTLY walking this road blindly and just rolling with the punches.
It gets overwhelming. Frustrating.
We have to find something that helps us stay grounded and put our gaze upwards on the One who has control.
For me, I have a few verses that I ALWAYS revert back to to center and focus myself. It’s easy to get caught up in our flesh and want to take things into our own hands or turn our emotions off. I do it all the time. That’s why these verses are so important to me.
1. Psalm 55:22- “Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall.”
To me, this verse is comforting because after I had Samuel, I was in such a dark place with anxiety. (read more about that here). I decided one day I was going to stop worrying so much and just give it to the Lord. I begged for Him to help get the enemy out of my head and I kid you not, it happened almost immediately. My worry subsided and I was able to actually enjoy my children, not fear for their lives constantly.
I know it sounds contradictory, because with Colston, every day is truly a gift. We never know how long we have with our heart babies but in reality, no one knows when they will be called Home. I used to get so mad when people would say that to me because I was bitter and thought “Ya well you kid doesn’t have the odds against them to live a full life.”
But now I know, I truly know in my heart that God will only call Colston, Home unless He can no longer heal him here on Earth. He will always be there for me and not let me fall.
2. Philippians 4:13- “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
I know this is a very popular verse and for good reason. I actually have this verse tattooed on my ankle because I believe it so much. I got the tattoo LONG before I was married or had Colston and it was as true then as it is now.
I used to think “God, why do you think I can handle so much? I am not that strong.”
But you know what? I think God knows that us as mere flesh cannot handle the things life throws at us. So what He does is equips us with pieces of Him. He equips us with the Holy Spirit so that we can get through it. We have HOPE through these hard times because HE strengthens us.
3 and 4. Matthew 19:6 and Matthew 12:25- “So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.” and “But Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them ‘Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.”
These two verses in the book of Matthew help strengthen my marriage through this heart walk. They are a constant in my head when it comes to my husband because I’ll be darned if CHD will effect my marriage like I have seen in so many other heart parents lives.
My husband and I consider ourselves as one soul. That’s not trying to sound completely corny, we truly believe that. I don’t know where my soul ends and Justin’s begins.
Having a child with a medical ailment can tear a family to shreds. It makes the family bitter. It makes them close down and not communicate with their spouse. It makes them resent each other.
We swore we would never let that happen and we haven’t. We will not be divided against each other. If we stand as a united front, there is nothing that can tear this family apart.
5. Jeremiah 29:11-“For I know the plans I have for you” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This is my absolute favorite verse and is the verse that saved me from constantly asking myself, “Why me?” when it came to having Colston.
Why did I have a child with this heart condition? What did I do to deserve this punishment?
This verse speaks volumes to me. I have finally come to terms with “God has a plan for it”. I used to think, “What the heck kind of plan could God have to give me this life?”
No matter if Colston lives a full life, or gets called Home, I know God gave me this child and this life to reach other people. I know His plan for my life and for my future is to help other heart parents get through this journey and show them Christ. I know that now.
That alone gives me hope. It gives me hope that our story can help someone else.
I feel so unbelievable blessed that God has put me in this position. He loves me so much that he entrusts me with such a gift! What a gift it is to help other parents going through the same thing I am. What a gift it is to be trusted with spreading His word when I’m still learning it myself!
I hope at least one of these verses helps you get up the mountain you’re climbing right now.
What are some of your favorite verses that help you get through life as a heart parent?