Last night turn into a solemn night as we received the phone call regarding the date for our son’s THIRD open heart surgery, also known as the Fontan.
My husband and I have been struggling a little lately with the reason for this. The REASON we were given a heart baby. The REASON behind the teaching for it. The REASON God would allow this.
Is it even for a lesson? Why would God go to such extreme lengths simply just to teach us a lesson?
I don’t think that’s an answer we will ever fully receive until we meet Him in Heaven but I can be at peace knowing this, God knows what He is doing. He knows our path before, during, and after.
He knows the lives we will touch and the people we will change with our stories, faithfulness, and obedience.
This morning, I was talking with a friend who mentioned Psalm 139. I’d read it before but the Spirit was nudging at me to read it again.
It spoke to me like never before.
This time when I read it, the words leaped off the page. The teaching spoke to me.
The Lord knew how urgently I needed to read that and then it spiraled from there and before I knew it, I had several scriptures seeping into my pores, flowing through my veins, and making a home in my soul.
God knew exactly what He was doing when He formed Colston. He saw his SUBSTANCE. Colston’s heart defect did NOT pass by Him undetected. All of Colston’s days were created in His book looooong before any days were even created.
“Your eyes saw my substance.”
SUBSTANCE= Everything we are comprised of. He sees the depths of our souls. Our truths. Our wants. Our desires.
“And that my soul knows very well.”
My soul knows God has Colston in the palm of His hand. It’s the enemy sneaking in trying to tell me otherwise.
Holy smokes this one you guys. FROM THE BEGINNING. From the first day God decided to create the Heavens and the Earth. He created ME. He created my two sons and my husband. He created YOU.
We were there in spirit, in His mind, when He created the world.
“Do not be wise in your own eyes.”
Meaning we cannot think that we know better than God, or that “maybe God just made a mistake over this, or looked over this particular thing in my life.” That is the enemy telling you that God is not all knowing.
“Depart from evil. IT WILL BE HEALTH TO YOUR FLESH.”
Isn’t that the truth. After reading all these scriptures I feel refreshed. Like my soul has been guzzling by the gallon water from the never ending well of Christ.
Lord, I spread my hands out to you. I long for You to consume me. I long for your truth. Your words are the only thing that give me peace and clarity during these hard, confusing times. I fear You. Thank You for giving me these provisions of Your Word to sustain me and fulfill my aching heart. You are so good Lord.
It is so beautiful when scripture just SPEAKS to you like this. It just resonates with your soul. I want to keep this refreshed and FULL feeling forever.
The enemy will try his best to take it away, to knock me off of this spiritual high.
Good luck Satan. Good luck.